I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
