Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
