then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
