Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
