I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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