final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I understand Curling. That high.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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