you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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