got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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