Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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