New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
