My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
