Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
