Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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