Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
it's like iHOP with fire
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
