Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Randomize
