return my video game
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
