i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
