I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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