She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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