i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
The air taste purple.
Randomize
