i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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