happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
