At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize