i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I need water and some morals
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize