Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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