I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
ok first of all what the fuck
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
