I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
