i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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