If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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