watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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