? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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