I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
