Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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