awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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