I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
