I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
So much rum. So many feels.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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