The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
