My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
