You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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