Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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