ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
