so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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