Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
