So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
