Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
sex in a hospital.. check
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
