I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Boobs speak an international language.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
