i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm too high and old for this...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
