So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
