i don't like sucking hair
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Shame - the story of my life.
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