Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize