I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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