If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
