Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
