There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Two words: blizzard sex
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
