if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
whose parrot is this?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Randomize
