Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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