I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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