It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
