are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
