yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
All I want is dick and wine.
Please don't give away my fajitas
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
